


Common Ground

by AthrunYuy



Series: Monkees/Stargate [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Bottom John, Devotion, Episode Related, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Hurt John Sheppard, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Top Rodney
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 03:56:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1764621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AthrunYuy/pseuds/AthrunYuy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney contemplates the importance of his relationship with John after watching a Wraith torture him while held captive. It takes the surprising support of those around him get John home and when he does he just has to show John the things he can't say out loud.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Common Ground

**Author's Note:**

> There is two original female characters mentioned briefly in this story that I should give light to for you to understand their significance. (these two are a part of a bigger story arc that is still a WIP) They are John's "sisters" as in they all grew up together and are now stationed on Atlantis. Jenna, or Maj Tork of the USAF, has known John all her life and has the ability to feel emotions like an empath. Her sister Nicky, a scientist, has the ability to form force fields and become invisible. Only few know of their abilities. I promise these two characters are only briefly mentioned as this is a McShep centric story but they are characters worth a mention.

I lost him today. Lost him to the point of no return when I saw that Wraith drag his life-force from his body. I didn’t have the answer. What good was an answer man when he doesn’t have the answer? I became frantic though schooled myself in front of everyone to my capability. I gave up hope after seeing John in so much excruciating pain from the alien hand sucking the life out of John’s chest and only having two hours to find him. My world crumbled around me, just as if I were in John’s shoes now.

I knew I was being selfish and greedy for being mad at everyone for not understanding the impact of losing John is, especially with his sister standing next to me on the bridge. But they’ll never know that he’s the glue that holds me together. Without him I’d simply turn into dust.

I should have known better than to stand so close to an empath. Something must have filtered through to Jenna because the second the video feed cut out I was being hauled away into Elizabeth’s office. The second the door closed behind us I readied myself for the fight I knew she’d inflict on me. There was no hope in escaping her wrath when she can sense the hopeless feeling that video feed provoked in me.

To my shock and surprise she didn’t yell, she didn’t hit me either; she simply walked right up to me and hugged me. I wanted to push her away. I didn’t have time for this and I didn’t need her sympathy, but apparently I did. I wanted her to be angry, to hate me for what I let happen to John, for even thinking the situation was hopeless; but I think she knows me better than I do myself sometimes. Feeling helpless doesn’t necessarily mean I’m giving up.

She held tighter onto me until I came to that conclusion and hugged her back. She was so much like John that sometimes I’m convinced that they are twins and just won’t admit it. Having her here gave me the strength to get the job done. When we walked back out, we both had our game faces on and we worked until we got him home; even though, in the end, he practically saved himself with the help of Todd.

When we found him I was expecting to see the old haggard face from before, but he was young and just as beautiful as ever. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wanted to touch me but with the other team members around us we had to wait. The wait was nearly unbearable. First there was the short meeting with Elizabeth, and then Carson wanting to dissect him, the longest hours of my life was spent _waiting_.

It took a lot of bitching to get Carson to agree to let John go to get some sleep. I could tell he was twitching at everyone who came within a foot of him. I can’t even begin to ponder what being eaten by a Wraith then having that life force come back to you would be like. I don’t care how strong John likes to perceive himself to be but no amount of training can prepare you for something so traumatizing. For John to not be his superior, thick skinned, ‘It’s done and over with, let’s move on’ usual self, freaks me out more than I know he wants to hear right now. So for once, I’m not going to be my normal selfish self in telling him how much he’s going to be the cause of my heart attack if he doesn’t stay safe.  

His anxiety rolled off of him in waves as I walked with him to his room. I didn’t even need Jenna’s empath ability to tell me how freaked out he was pretending not to be. We didn’t say much to each other; John too lost in his own thoughts and me being too busy scaring people away from him. Nicky came barreling down the corridor so fast I didn’t have the time to shoo her away before she jumped into my arms. She whispered orders to me then bounced off again after giving John a quick smile.

John appeared to be dead on his feet so I moved us along. There was no doubt that I’d be staying with him tonight but whether it’d be welcome scared me to death. I saw how he’d flinch when anyone came too close to him, and I slightly feared that he’d do the same to me; though I’d completely understand if he did. The walk through the familiar city seemed to take a lot longer and I could sense even John was feeling it even with all that was going on in his head.

When we got there I kept the lights off afraid to break the silence myself. I became overwhelmed when he whispered my name and offered up his arms. I didn’t give him the chance to change his mind. He enveloped me with his warmth and scent. He was home. He was alive.    

There was so much I wanted to tell him, but I had no idea where to start. So when he said please in that breathy way of his I decided to show him instead. It was amazing and wonderful and I think he actually heard me say those three little words that don’t often come out especially in the same sentence. He just smiled a smile that is only seen by me when he’s truly happy and it makes my heart skip a beat every time. I’m always afraid that I’ll scare him off by telling him that. We have only been together for such a short time, everything is still fairly new. Though I’ll have to admit that this is the longest relationship that I’ve ever had and I’m quite surprised that it has lasted this long with no signs of it coming to an end. I don’t think I could handle a break up with him. He’s everywhere; in my heart and soul.

I crawled out of bed a few hours after falling asleep from our blissful activities. John is still out cold, though that doesn’t surprise me after he had claimed that I killed him before smiling that goofy smile of his. I want to remember him just the way he is right now, whole, happy and _young_. When John sleeps he looks years younger; all of his stress lines evening out, that rumple hair of his sticking out in every direction and most of all, the peaceful look he gets reminding me just how much I cherish moments like this.

I don’t get this way often but when I do I find it hard to snap out of it. I’ve never loved someone so much that it hurts. I’ve never felt loved in return the way John does either. There has always been something about him that drew me in from the moment I met him. At first I thought it was my attraction to his gene. The man didn’t even know how lucky he was to have such a gift that I’d give anything to have. He just sat down in the chair like it was no big deal and I’ve never wanted to kick someone and yet hug someone so badly at the same time. But then I got my own gene and I slowly became ok with his.    

Things didn’t change until his stupid heroics occurred one too many times. _So long Rodney_ still gives me nightmares to this day. He was only doing his job, I got that, he didn’t want to have to order another to fly to their death, I got that too, but why did it always have to be him? I still think that if only I had worked harder, thought faster, his one way trip to death with a bomb that _I built_ wouldn’t have even had to have been an option. It took me a week after his return to finally stop thinking of him as the man I killed.

Right now I feel the same guilt as I did back then; but right now the stakes are higher. Now if John were to die he wouldn’t be the only one, I’d die right along with him. I’ve never really understood the compulsion people had with the whole ‘You jump, I jump’ until one day I realized I didn’t just like him, I love him. He’s my best friend, there will never be another John Sheppard; he is truly one of a kind.

He has to be the first person to have ever gotten me. Nothing I could have said to him that would normally either piss someone off or make them go crying to their mommies had ever daunted him. He’d simply bat his eyes at me and then make some insanely stupid joke about nothing we were talking about. And then there was his charm. Oh he loved the fact that people thought of him as prince charming, Atlantis’s golden child and all but it never seemed to be what he wanted. Sure beautiful women were constantly throwing themselves at his feet every planet we visited but with the exception of Chya, the de-ascended ancient we invited back to the city, he never tried to pursue any of them.

That whole Chya thing was such a big mess. John just didn’t understand and I myself didn’t want to see the underlining reason for my side. I know now that I had been jealous, correct on almost all accounts that she wasn’t who she claimed to be, but jealous none the less. I’ve never been jealous before, never had a reason to be; but when it finally occurred to me that I may lose my best friend to a lying……I couldn’t deal with it. John was just crazy inducing like that.

It was hard to believe that someone so military like John and someone so nonmilitary like me could ever hit it off. We found each other joint at the hip more often than not with either, movie nights, missions or time in the labs. When it came to meal times, we either met up or he’d bring food down to the labs and sit close by making sure I ate. Those were my favorite times. It would give me a chance to show him a new gadget or two for us to play, I mean, test out. He is still the first person I go to do tests. I’d even watch out for things I knew would catch his attention. I’d go out of my way to build or improve things that would make him smile. And before I knew it we were dating only without either of us knowing it. Sometimes I wonder when I got so lucky.

It took Johns sister to get us to recognize what had been right in front of us the whole time. I have no doubt that if she hadn’t stepped in we’d still be tiptoeing around each other. I mean, really? Someone as hot as John going for a geek like me it still feels absurd. Somehow it works, and somehow I know it will always work no matter what gets thrown our way. I am that much determined to make this, whatever we have, last for as long as possible because seeing the person you love the most being tortured tends to open your eyes to things you assumed you’d get around to analyzing later. Teyla has always told us that time here in Pegasus is too short; I’m finally seeing her point.  

I can’t help but smile as I watch him from across the room. I want to be in bed with him, holding him and feeling his every breath that I was so sure a few hours ago that I’d never feel again, but I don’t. My mind is racing as it does some nights when I get great ideas out of the blue. If I had remained, John would have noticed that I was awake and he’d want to be awake too. He needs to sleep and I don’t want to deprive him of it just because I can’t stop thinking. John has some weird ability to sense things about me, sometimes even before I’m aware of it myself. I’m not too annoyed by it; after all I can read him better than anyone he knows, his sisters included; so I call it even.

It’s cold in the early hours of the morning, but I don’t feel it. The only indication that my body feels it is the growing goose bumps forming on my arms and chest. I pull the blanket a little tighter around me as I catch a glimpse of the sun making its self know. I feel content, happy even; like the past two days had never happened. I’m not stupid enough to believe that something like that won’t ever happen again. But if I had learned anything from my newly found friendship with John’s family, is that you live one moment at a time and don’t waste time dwelling on the ‘what ifs’ and ‘when’s’. And so I plan to do just that. Right here and now is all that is important; not hours from now, not days from now, not even years from now. Right here, right now.

I look back at John and notice a change in him. It’s ever so slight and I’m not too sure I can even tell you what that change is; but he’s awake. John thinks he’s clever by hiding, but he can’t hide from me. He can try and I know he will but I’ll always catch him. My smile gets wider as I try to contain myself from laughing out loud. I love this poor kamikaze flyboy so much he has no idea. I’m going to let him stew in this game for a bit longer until he slips up. Let him keep thinking he’s clever. But even after all this time, I’d think he should know better. I am a genius after all.

~*~*~*~*~

Walking back to my quarters and having Nicky hug Rodney instead of me, clued me in. I was the one captured. I was the one who had my life literally sucked out of me then put back like a reversed vacuum. But besides the obvious, it wasn’t me who had the hardest time. Now that I gave myself time to think about it, I’m not so sure I’d have been as calm as Rodney had been if the situations were reversed. Watching someone you love being tortured is worse than being tortured yourself. How he had managed to keep it together to rescue me is beyond my capability to imagine. I have a feeling Jenna had Rodney’s back. They kept each other in check long enough to find me. And as much as I want to be comforted, because really, today really sucked, literally, Rodney needs me more.      

I can feel him watching me. I don’t know how, but the weight of his gaze feels like a physical touch. When I got back, the terror of being touched, even by the medical staff, had me shaking in my boots. I can’t even begin to explain my actions. It was irrational, and I knew I should suck it up because I was fine. Carson even cleared me, saying that I was healthier than before I went on the mission. I could tell he wanted me to stick around for more tests, Medical doctors being just as curious as the scientists. Luckily Rodney sensed my discomfort no matter how hard I tried to cover it and somehow managed to get me released.

There were many people who wanted to stop me on our way back to my room but smartly changed their minds from the way Rodney looked at them, to my relief. He was like having my own personal guard dog, something he must have picked up from Ronon. It came to me now that I think of it, when Nicky ran down the corridor towards us and jumped Rodney with a big hug, that I was being insensitive, maybe even jealous. I felt wronged like I was being cheated out of my home welcoming from my sister and now feel shame that I would even think that when she probably knew I wasn’t ready to be touched. After we were alone I found out what she had whispered into Rodney’s ear before bouncing off in the same direction she came. She told him to give me a kiss on the cheek, which he did, and then smack me in the arm and tell me never to do that again, which luckily he didn’t but told me so for the record.

He had been so calm and understanding throughout the whole return that his silence became deafening. When we entered my room I waited for the lights to turn on but they never did. I suddenly knew why he was just standing there. He was waiting for permission to touch me; which I found absurd. The whole time I was in there, all I could think about was getting home to him. He is what made me finally agree to join forces with Todd. Because, really, if making friends with a Wraith gets me back to him, then I’d do it again.

I whispered his name, afraid to speak any louder and held my arms out to him. The invitation was accepted and suddenly I had my arms full of him. I felt myself relax, at last coming home. We supply held each other for time unknown. Rodney pulled back enough to nuzzle his nose under my jaw. He breathed me in like he was trying to get reacquainted. His sigh did me in and I just whispered, ‘please’, a little more desperately than I knew I should have. I let Rodney take control this time and I followed his every movement. Everything went slow from there. He undressed me article by article in a deliberate order only known to him. He sat me down on the bed as he took his time to get my boots off. His hands touched every inch as each piece fell to the floor. Rodney crouched in front of me running his hands down my legs as they became bare as well. I watched with fascination as he kissed both of my ankles then doing the same to my calves as he gradually made his way to his feet.

“Lay back.” He whispered to me and I did without my normal snide remarks that I usually used when he tries to order me around. I watched as he undressed himself waiting in anticipation. I’ve never seen this side of him before. All of our previous encounters were either rushed due to a time frame we had to work with or we just couldn’t wait to get to the good stuff.

When he came back to the bed he knelt again by my feet taking one leg in his hand. He kissed the top of my foot moving up to my ankle and back up to my calf all the while his hands caressing every where he could reach, before doing the same to the other. He made butterfly kisses at my knees then my thighs. His tongue left wet strips that he cooled with his breath making me shiver with want. When he got to the juncture where thigh met hip he bit down, not hard enough to drawl blood, but enough to leave a mark which he kissed away the sting lovingly before doing it to the opposite side. I have never told him how much it turned me on to have his mark on me but somehow I think he knows. My rock hard cock was proof only inches away from its goal of Rodney’s mouth. But Rodney ignored it passing it by with only a light kiss to the tip of it before moving on with his exploration.

Rodney knew every sweet spot on me and it felt so good. When he reached one he’d spend extra time concentrating on it bringing me closer to the edge. I have dreamed of those hands of his for as long as I can remember. I used to watch him in the labs for hours at a time while he worked on ancient gadgets, the whole time wishing he’d touch me the way he’d touch them. Rodney was a master at figuring out how things ticked; no doubt he had figured me out as well. The concentration he’d give his science always turned me on. This wasn’t our first time, but now I know how it feels to be under such focus and it was hotter than I could have ever imagined.

By the time he had reached my nipples, I was already arching up into him, hoping for some form of friction, but he always seemed to be just out of reach. It was frustratingly slow but powerful at the same time. I was so close and he hadn’t even touched the important part yet. I tried to pull him down to me but each time he’d catch my hands and put them back at my side.

I lost track of how much time had passed, but it seemed like Rodney spent an eternity teasing me, nibbling and stroking and licking me. I was trembling so much my hands were hurting from clenching the sheets for so long. Rodney was driving me crazy. I can’t remember ever feeling this loved and cherished and so damn good.

I knew I was whining but I was so far gone that I didn’t care one bit. I threw my head back mostly because I felt like I had to move somehow and also because I knew Rodney secretly liked to watch me come undone fore that is what he was doing to me. He was taking me apart so he can put me back together again. He was chasing away all of my demons from the past two days.

Rodney must have felt how close I was to coming because at that moment I temporarily lost contact with his mouth and suddenly it was where I was craving it the most. The wet warmth of his mouth just covering the head of my cock was good but then he took me deep and pressed up firmly behind my balls in that perfect place to make me see stars and I was coming, hard, harder than I can ever remember ever coming.

I forced my eyes to stay open until my vision began to grey around the edges. I wanted to _see_ him; I wanted to see the awe in his eyes that always amazes me to see. That look would never, ever fail to give me shivers not even if I saw it for thousands of years. No one has ever looked at me like that before, like I was the sexiest thing, something amazing and Rodney only did it when he thought I wasn’t looking; but this time he did, holding my gaze and letting me see the love he has for me with his eyes.

I let my leg drop to the side, out of Rodney’s way, but otherwise didn’t move. Rodney was perfectly welcome to fuck me, but I hoped he didn’t expect any active participation, because I was _never, ever_ getting hard again, Rodney had _broken_ me, I was all fucked out for the rest of my life. Or at least until tomorrow.

Rodney was opening me up with gentle fingers, easily, because I was already as relaxed as I’ve ever been in my life. He kept looking to me as if to judge if it was alright to continue. “You good?”

“Way beyond good.” I whispered back to him just as he leans down to kiss me finally on the lips. His kiss was hungry and perfect in every way possible, but his actions remained slow. I’ve never seen him this attentive before. I must have really scared him today. He must have caught my sadden expression from where my thoughts had ran to because he stopped to observe me. Wanting to reassure him, I push back into him nudging him back into action.

We don’t usually take this position in our love making, for which I have already come to terms with what sex with Rodney had become, but I love being face to face. I love seeing him when he comes. There is just something that twists in my stomach seeing him like that and it makes me want to remember it for the rest of my life. I have a feeling that Rodney feels the same way but sometimes we just don’t have the time for such luxuries. Rodney was just indulging me in every way, tonight, and I couldn’t help to feel slightly guilty about that. I should be taking care of him.

Rodney was gripping his own cock with fingers that were shaking slightly, and I suddenly realized that he, too, had been hard for over an hour by now. He’d been so cool about it, so patient, tending to me as if he had all the time in the world to do nothing but make me feel good. I hadn’t even thought about how he must be holding back, himself.

Rodney stroked the inside of my thigh tenderly, and then he braced himself beside my hip with one hand and slid into me, slowly, steadily, stopping when he was all the way inside. For a moment I held him there with my leg, breathing deeply and adjusting to the familiar pressure -- a bit weird, now that I wasn’t hard, but still deeply satisfying even like that.

I was expecting Rodney to start thrusting right away. He had to be hurting by now, after all. But Rodney stayed perfectly still, muscles trembling slightly, watching his own hand stroking my chest. His lips were moving, I noticed after a moment; reciting something, some kind of numbers, from the looks of it.  
  
I knew that tactic from myself, when I was trying not to come too soon, but usually I did that when I wanted my partner to come before I did, not after I’d already spent an hour solely on the other’s pleasure. Not when I wanted it as badly as Rodney obviously did.

His patience awed me. I know now how he wants it to last as long as possible but it can’t be good for him. His hands wondered down to the crease of my thigh and crotch and to my amazement it started to twitch again. It has to be from all of that attention he had been giving me, because last time I checked I was no longer in my twenties. Rodney rubbed circles around that area until I was fully hard again. Only then did he start to move in slow controlled thrusts. It didn’t take long for me to start moaning as the pressure built again and before I knew it I was coming at the same time he was.

I managed to watch him, converting everything to memory for the next time I was alone. This is what I live for. Not the sex, though that is amazing in its self, but Rodney himself. We have only been together officially for a few months, but I can’t ever imagine my life without him.

“I love you.” Rodneys whisper is barely heard over the ringing in my ears from actually coming twice in one round, but I heard it all the same. The first time he has ever said those three little words to me out loud and I am grateful.

As I lay there recalling the best sex of my life I cannot contain my smile anymore. I was busted; he now knew I was awake. “You don’t have to pretend.” Came Rodney’s surprisingly soft voice.

I stretch out my arms above my head and feel the cold air on my chest from where the blanket had ridden down. “What are you doing way over there? It’s cold; you should be over here where it’s warm.” I tell him rolling my head to look at him. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon casing a glow against Rodney’s pale skin. He was only wrapped in half of the extra blanket from the bed, he had to be cold. “Rodney?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He says keeping his voice down. He smiles suddenly looking away.

“What is that big brain of yours thinking?”

He looks to me and I can see the blue in his eyes even from where I still lay. They remind me of the blue you only see at high altitudes and they captivate me. I hold his gaze and he just smiles lazily back at me. “Oh, nothing important.” He lies; I can always tell when he’s lying. The man should never play poker.

“Come back to bed. Now I’m cold.” I urge him making gabby fingers in his direction. He strolls over to me and takes both of my hands linking our fingers together and pins my hands to the sides of my head. The blanket he had been wearing slides off of his shoulders to pool around his feet and I can’t help to look. I’ve never been so attracted to one person as much as I am with him. He leans down to meet me with a deep slow kiss and I can’t help but to clinch onto his hands. He grins pulling away to give me little kisses to my nose then cheeks then stopping at my forehead.

“I have to go do something.” He tells me nuzzling my face with his nose.

“Yeah; me.” I try to joke trying and failing to pull him down onto me. I sometimes forget that Rodney’s a lot stronger than I give him credit for.

“In a bit.” He promises me kissing me one more time on the lips before standing and releasing my hands. “It won’t take long. I promise.”

“Pinky swear?” I say holding out my right hand to him.

He hooks his pinky with mine and chuckles. “How old are you again?” He complains but does it anyway.

“Old enough to know that you can’t break a pinky swear.” I reply giving him a smug grin.

“Twelve.” He says sticking his tongue out at me.

“Thirteen.” I correct. “Now go before I change my mind and keep you here under citizen’s arrest.”

“Like you could.” He counters already pulling on pants covering my view. I groan in fake distress and he just throws a pair of boxers at me in return. “I’ll be right back.” He says running for the door before I can get the chance to throw the shorts back at him.

He’s only gone five minutes before I can’t stand to be in bed alone anymore. I pull on the boxers he had thrown at me and find a hoody hanging off the back of my desk chair and pull that on. I’m in the middle of brushing my teeth when a knock at my door startles me. I have orders to be left alone for the day so I’m curious as to who could possibly be dumb enough to go against them. I quickly rinse out my mouth and head for the door ready to chew out the person behind it.

When I open the door, the corridor is empty and I have a second thought that I had been just hearing things. But then something burning catches my senses and I look down to find a single Hostess cupcake with a burning candle, next to it a sticky note. My sister is clever as always and I laugh out loud at her gesture. I pick it up to blow out the candle and take a lick of the icing happy to know that it is honest to God real icing. The note reads : thanks for not getting dead, I love you. XO. Nicky is crazy sometimes but at lease she has good taste. “Love you too sis.” I say out loud unsure of whether she was still in ear shot before closing the door behind me going back to sit in bed to await Rodney.

~*~*~*~*~

I don’t know what exactly compelled me leave John so early in the morning I just have this unexplainable urge to see her. It’s still early, but I know she’s up, this time of the morning being her usual time to take a run before her shift. I wait outside her door unsure of what I’m going to say but I know I want to. When she answers the door, I can’t miss the shock in her eyes at seeing me. “Is everything ok?” she asks dreading what the next crisis could possibly be. I think to myself _she should know, she knows everything._

“Fine actually.” I tell her anyway, looking up from my untied boots. “I just wanted to say….” I trail off sighing to myself, because really, I don’t have a clue. Without any more hesitation I pull her into a hug holding her tight the way she had the night before. She’s hesitant at first clearly not expecting this from me but she returns the hug gratefully. “Thank you.” I say the words simple but meaning so much more than she can possibly know, or perhaps she does; which is one reason I like her. I don’t have to explain myself to her because she can already sense me.

“It is my pleasure.” Jenna whispers back kissing me on the cheek before we pull apart.

I shuffle my gaze around in a nervous habit, cursing John for making me an emotional wreck. “I should get back.” I point off down the hall.

“See you around?” She asks smiling. I nod and quickly walk away having accomplished my mission.

~*~*~*~*~

**Author's Note:**

> I expect there to be errors and acknowledge they are of my own. I apologize for any mistakes. Please review and let me know what you think. I'd also like to know if anyone is interested in reading more about the two sisters mentioned. :)


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